


Older and None the Wiser

by RayneYactsh



Series: YuanLing oneshots [1]
Category: The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Boys Kissing, Fluff, Jin Ling is an idiot, M/M, Mutual Pining, background wangxian - Freeform, happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21518761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayneYactsh/pseuds/RayneYactsh
Summary: “When we are of age, three years from now, I will ask, if not challenge Sect Leader Jiang, for your hand in marriage. I cannot and will not love any other the way I love you. To have and to hold, from now until eternity, and not even death shall part us. This is my promise to you.”
Relationships: Lan Sizhui|Lan Yuan/Jin Ling|Jin Rulan, Lan WangJi|Lan Zhan/Wei WuXian|Wei Ying
Series: YuanLing oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964026
Comments: 9
Kudos: 241





	Older and None the Wiser

**Author's Note:**

> late birthday fic for A-Ling
> 
> (i actually forgot to post this sighhhh)

Chapter 1

* * *

The Cloud Recesses was a fortress of white, under the layers of snow that accumulated over the past few days. Lan SiZhui was walking along the corridors, letting the quiet and the cool midday breeze calm him in preparation for the day's events, when the twenty one year old caught a glimpse of gold across the courtyard, and his heart fluttered. However the object of his attention seemed to be up to some mischief. 

Following in his Uncle Cheng's footsteps and becoming the youngest clan leader in history, still did nothing to tame his rebellious heart. Jin Ling, age nineteen now, would always find ways to prove this. Hence the reason, rather than attending a meeting with the Chief Cultivator, he snuck away when he and Uncle Cheng ran into his Uncle Xian and got distracted by the bunnies. Little did he know, there was a plan in motion. 

He was almost out of the main area when he heard a familiar voice call out to him. 

"Sect Leader Jin." He turned to see Lan SiZhui calmly strolling toward him, ever present gentle smile on his lips. 

"How many times must I tell you, SiZhui, drop the formalities." Jin Ling replied with his own smile, taking the hand that was held out to him. 

"My apologies, A-Ling." Lan SiZhui interlaced their fingers, chuckling at the blush dusting the other's cheeks as he brushed he lips against his knuckles. Unable to resist, he encircled the other's waist with his free hand and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. Jin Ling sighed happily and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's neck, their laced hands pressed between them, making the moment all the more intimate. When they separated, he pressed his forehead to SiZhui's, feeling the coolness of his forehead band. 

"You are forgiven, A-Yuan." He giggled. SiZhui smiled and pecked his nose. 

"A-Ling, do you remember our first kiss, four years ago. Confused by the question, Jin Ling pulled back and looked at his lover. 

"Yes I remember. Why do you ask?" Then a panicked "Is it our anniversary today?!" 

SiZhui laughed. "Nothing of the sort. Well, not entirely." Seeing the confusion on Jin Ling's face double, confirmed his suspicions. ' He really forgot, didn't he. No problem, this is perfect.' 

"Do you remember how much trouble you put the both of us through at the beginning though?" 

At that, Jin Ling pouted, remembering how difficult his younger self was. 

"I had perfectly valid reasons for that." He muttered. 

"Mhh, sure you did." The taller teased, earning himself a light punch. 

* * *

_..Flashback.._

_Having to deal with constant criticism that comes with being the youngest Sect Leader in history, Jin Ling had felt his troubles multiply ten fold when he realized he had developed feelings for the Gusu Lan disciple. He tried to keep it to himself, but would have moments of weakness whenever SiZhui was close. He would feel jealously when the_ _other boy smiled at others, or helped someone else during their night hunts, wanting nothing more than to claim the older boy for himself and keep the others away. "~Why am I being like this? How unbecoming of me, Uncle would be disappointed if he saw me like this. I'm the one who's in love with him. It doesn't mean he feels the same. Yes...that's right! He couldn't possibly have feelings for someone like me. We're total opposites, we'd never get along well enough no matter how tolerant he is. Besides, it would be troublesome if him or the others found out how I feel. I need to control myself. But how?~" And so he resorted to the only option he seemed fit. Pushing the older boy away, being extra cold toward him to hide how he truly felt._

_On the other hand, Lan SiZhui had felt somewhat guilty for the way he adored the young leader. He had taken the discovery of his feelings slightly better. Especially after opening up to his parents about it when his Xian-baba noticed the way he looked at Jin Ling and proceeded to nag him into speaking._

_"~It's the same way your Father and I used to look at each other, but we we're too stupid to accept it for what it really was. Don't make the same mistake we made and lose quality time with him like we did with ourselves. Also, always remember that you have our blessing.~"_

_His Xian-baba had said to him whilst leaning against his husband's chest in the Jingshi. The older man humming his agreement and approval at the younger man's words._

_Alas, having these feelings and his parents' blessings would be useless when Jin Ling clearly didn't feel the same. This he made known to his parents._

_"He always seems to be in a bad mood whenever I am near. As though being near me is a burden he doesn't need." Tears prickled his eyes as he recalled the younger boy's annoyed look when they sat to eat with the others after their lessons. Jin Ling had not spoken even when spoken to, looking as though it physically pained him to be anywhere near SiZhui. When SiZhui asked if he was alright, Jin Ling scoffed, got up and left, his meal untouched. The other disciples found it odd and a bit uncalled for but said nothing of it. Well, except for Lan Jingyi's muttered "Young maiden Jin."_

_Wei Wuxian looked at his husband with a knowing smile after their son's retelling, confusing SiZhui in the moment. His Ji-baba spoke this time._

_"Patience and perseverance bring great benefits. Do not be deterred by Sect Leader Jin's behaviour."_

_SiZhui sighed in his head. 'Easier said than done father.' He could not force the other to like him, and he clearly showed no signs of doing so anytime soon, if at all. And so the young Lan resigned himself to accept unrequited love. Until..._

_After a particularly grueling night hunt, the elders decided to rest at an inn, to let the disciples recuperate from their low spiritual energy. SiZhui, despite it being well into midnight, couldn't sleep and decided to walk around to avoid disturbing the others. He wondered if Jin Ling was okay after the nights events, what with becoming the prime target for the ghouls that surrounded them in the forest. The younger was especially exhausted and injured after the ordeal, but refused SiZhui's help to heal his injuries. Standing outside the Sect leader's room, SiZhui contemplated on checking on the other boy, but decided not to in case he was asleep._

_As he made to walk away, however, he heard a noise from behind the door. It sounded like crying. Jin Ling was crying. SiZhui worry for the boy increased, and he didn't stop himself from calling out._

_"Jin Ling? Is everything okay?"_

_Hearing that person's voice only made his tears fall faster. The young Jin buried his face into the duvet as silent sobs wracked his frame. Returning from the hunt SiZhui offered to help him with his injuries, but he'd turned him down even though he wanted to accept. Constantly hiding his feelings behind a mask of indifference and ice was taking a toll on the youth. But what could he do. He was Sect Leader of the Jin clan. He had responsibility and priority of his duties. Above all, he is expected to wed a fair maiden and produce an heir when he is older. That cannot happen should he allow himself to be with the one he truly desires. '~I'm tired of this~' he thought, sniffling._

_"Go away." He muttered weakly, still loud enough to be heard. "Leave me alone."_

_The muffled reply reached his ears and SiZhui's heart clenched at how broken and small the other sounded. How badly he wanted to comfort him. "Are you okay, though? Do your injuries hurt?"_

_"I'm fine! Just fucking leave me alone!" A bit louder this time, but bordering on desperation rather than the intended anger the speaker wished to convey._

_The Lan disciple cringed inwardly at the other's crude words. Speaking to him, though, would get him nowhere if he wanted to make sure Jin Ling was alright. He tried the door, locked as expected. Drawing a talisman that his Xian-baba taught them during lessons, he forcefully unlocked the door._

_"Jin Ling, I'm coming in." He pushed the door and stepped inside. What he saw made his hear both flutter and break. Tangled in the covers, hair loosened and fanned out around him, Jin Ling painted a picture of one of SiZhui's many daydreams about the boy. But the way sobs wracked his seemingly fragile frame produced a nightmare SiZhui didn't know he could have. It reminded him of the days in Burial Mounds when grandma Wen would wake in odd hours of the morning, crying due to night terrors of the torture they endured before their rescue._

_Without second thought, he shut the door and rushed to Jin Ling, pulling the smaller body into his arms and cradling him like one would a crying child.(which is not a stretch from the truth here) Jin Ling protested and made to push him off, but he held him tighter._

_"Please, let me. Just this once, don't refuse me. Please, Jin Ling." Lan SiZhui spoke softly to the boy in his arms, gently rocking him when he relented and sobbed harder. Trembling hands clutched his robes and held tightly, as though one of them would disappear._

_He didn't care anymore, he realized, as those thin but strong arms wrapped securely around him, holding him in ways he only ever dreamt of being held. Somewhere in his mind he was worried about ripping the robe he held so tightly, but couldn't be bothered to let go. His tears were soaking the Lan disciple's clothing but neither of them seemed to care._

_Neither of them knew how long they stayed that way until Jin Ling calmed down. Uncontrollable sobbing reduced to the occasional sniffle, and stray tears trickling at random intervals. Still the other refused to let go, still holding tightly even as they shifted to a more comfortable position, with SiZhui sitting against the bed frame and Jin Ling resting against him with his face buried into his shoulder. He almost didn't hear the other's muffled words._

_"Why? After I've been so horrible to you, why are you so nice to me?" Jin Ling spoke, refusing to raise his head and face the older boy, lest he do something stupid. He could only pray SiZhui didn't feel his heart thundering in his chest when his brain finally caught up to the situation they were in._

_SiZhui rubbed soothing circles on the younger's back as he replied, "What kind of Lan disciple would I be if I saw a comrade in distress and turned a blind eye?" Although he really wanted to say "~Because I'm hopelessly in love with you and seeing you in pain kills me~"_

_Jin Ling huffed, somewhat disappointed by the response. "Well if your principles are the only reason you don't need to do so for me. I'm fine on my own." In his mind, though, 'But hold me like this a bit longer.'_

_Silence followed for a few minutes, but then came the question he never, ever wanted to give an answer to, for he will not be able to lie._

_"Jin Ling? Do you despise me? Is that the reason you are so cold toward me?" He had opted to never confront the other concerning that matter, but his heart aches to know the truth. Perhaps, if the young Jin really did hate him, that knowledge would make moving along possible. Or maybe not, but one way to find out._

_Several moments passed and no reply was given. Jin Ling was torn between brushing the question off with a sarcastic comment, and feigning sleep to avoid answering altogether. But his heart had other plans, and took over the thought processes of his head, deciding to just be selfish for once in his life and do what he wanted, not what was expected of him. He raised his head and tried to meet the other's gaze, but opted for fiddling with the duvet when he couldn't._

_"I-I'm sorry. I felt like it was the right thing to do in the beginning. To avoid unnecessary troubles. But it seems I've caused more troubles instead of preventing them."_

_SiZhui was confused. "What do you mean?"_

_"I...don't hate you. The opposite, rather. And that's where the problem lies." Jin Ling's voice trailed off at the end of his confession. Realization dawned upon SiZhui, and he couldn't stop the grin that broke out on his face, and then the laughter that bubbled out of his throat. Jin Ling stared at him, incredulous, also slightly hurt, and smacked him on the shoulder turning away with a huff._

_"You asshole, how dare you laugh at me? Do you know how horrible I've felt all this time? For months, too. I finally get it off my chest and you laugh at me. No, don't touch me! Leave!"_

_SiZhui calmed himself down and apologized, pleading the other to turn toward him. He schooled his expression back to calm but the smile persisted as he spoke._

_"Jin Ling, you mean to say, all this time you have been cold toward me, pushing me away, because you like me?" His voice picked up a teasing lilt, evidence of his Xian-baba's influence on him._

_Jin Ling crossed his arms defensively, preparing to be teased and eventually, politely, turned down. He didn't expect to be pulled into another embrace, the taller boy burying his face in the crook of his neck. He felt the other's warm breath tickle his skin as SiZhui sighed._

_"I'm glad. So glad, Jin Ling, that you don't hate me. But you could have just said something to me. Why didn't you?"_

_Hesitantly, Jin Ling explained to him the reason for his behaviour. His fears and concerns, insecurities and weaknesses. As he spoke he felt the other's arms tighten around him as he slowly brought his own arms up to return the embrace. When he finished speaking, SiZhui huffed against him and raised his head to face him._

_"You we're worried for nothing. And you had me worried as well. I'm happy my own fears were also unwarranted." SiZhui said, remembering the conversation with his parents. 'I can finally say it.' He brought a hand to the younger's face, smiling at the blush that dusted his cheeks at the gesture._

_"Would you believe me, Jin Ling, if i said I feel the same?" He marvelled at the softness of the other's face._

_At his words, Jin Ling's eyes widened, hopeful, then narrowed in suspicion. He pushed SiZhui off him and stood, walked to the centre table in the room saying, "I thought lying was forbidden for Gusu Lan disciples?"_

_The young Lan recovered from the surprise of being pushed and moved to where Jin Ling was. "It is"_

_"Then why are you lying to me?"_

_"I am not."_

_"Liar."_

_"Jin Ling."_

_"What?!"_

_"Look at me." He gently turned the shorter boy toward him, and placed his fingertips under his chin, coaxing him to look up. Sure enough, there were unshed tears glistening in those amber eyes. Eyes that had been hiding emotions too heavy for a child to carry, a child who never learned how to deal with them. Yet amidst all the pain and frustration, there was hope. Hope for, if not a happy ending, a happy beginning. SiZhui wanted to give that to him, and so much more. More than even he can begin to comprehend._

_He leaned in and, brushing Jin Ling's bangs aside, placed the softest of kisses on his forehead, reminiscent of how he'd seen his Ji-baba do to his Xian-baba several times. Not stopping there, he continued downwards, kissing down the bridge of that button nose, kisses on those fluttering eyelids, upon those rosy cheeks, all while pulling that lithe body against him yet again, feeling the way the other shivered in his arms and clutched his robes. Hovering millimeters away from the other's face, feeling their warm breaths mingle between them, he asks "A-Ling, can I kiss you?"_

_Jin Ling's breath hitched, opening his kissed closed eyes to stare into soft chocolate brown orbs. Not trusting in his voice to speak steadily, he nodded, whispering a small "Please.." And felt his universe somersault when warm plush lips claimed his. The kiss was an innocent one, a mere brushing of lips, but exhilarating all the same._

_SiZhui didn't return to his shared room that night, opting to stay with Jin Ling, simply holding each other as sleep claimed them both. They'd deal with the inevitable teasing from their comrades later. All that mattered in that moment was each other._

_..End flashback.._

* * *

"Now here we are, four years later." SiZhui smiled, then as an afterthought, "Older and none the wiser." 

Jin Ling rolled his eyes at that as his boyfriend started walking and tugged him along, side by side. “Uncle Cheng almost had a _qi_ deviation when he saw you kiss me goodbye at the docks the next morning. Thank God Hanguang-Jun is good at reasoning with people.” 

They both laughed at the memory of the Jiang Sect Leader almost throttling the young Lan disciple. The two continued walking hand in hand, chatting idly and enjoying each other’s warmth amidst the cold weather. 

"Why are you out here though? Are you not attending the meeting with Father?" SiZhui asked to further distract his love from where they were heading. 

At that, Jin Ling gave a guilty look. "I ran off when Uncle Xian distracted Uncle Cheng. Meetings are so boring." He answered, whining. SiZhui shook his head, amused at the elders' tactics in making sure everything went smoothly. So he kept up with his tactic until the right moment. He sighed in feigned exasperation at the other. 

“Regardless, it is part of your duties, A-Ling. It would be best if you complete as much of your duty as possible now before you are preoccupied with more important things later on.” SiZhui said as he slowed their pace and moved in front of the other, taking a few more steps backwards and stopping. 

“Important things? Like what?” Jin Ling was confused, his boyfriend was talking nonsense. The taller man, chuckling, let go of his hand and took a few steps backwards saying, 

“I promised you something, some time ago. If you can remember what it was, you can have it.” 

Jin Ling stared at his boyfriend, ' _A promise_ _, he made a lot of those. Has already kept_ _them all too_ _. Unless I’m missing something_ _.'_ He opens his mouth to ask for a hint when he sees it. His seventeenth birthday at Koi Tower. SiZhui on his knee in front of him, Uncle Xian and Hanguang-Jun, Zewu-Jun, Nie HuaiSang and Uncle Cheng standing around them. Their comrades as well off to the sides with teasing smiles waiting for him to cry. The promise SiZhui made that night. 

_“_ _When_ _we_ _are of age, three years from now_ _, I will ask, if not challenge Sect Leader Jiang_ _, for your hand in marriage_ _. I cannot and will not_ _love_ _any other_ _the way I_ _love_ _you. To have and to hold_ _, from now until eternity, and not even death shall part us_ _. This is my promise to you_ _.”_

In the presence of everyone they trusted, his lover had confessed the depths of his love for him and promised him an eternity together. Through the tears blurring his vision, he saw the same setting as three years ago, against a background of pure white instead of the bright lantern lit courtyard of Koi Tower, the elders standing around them, to give their blessing, their friends surrounding them to cherish the moment and celebrate the upcoming memories. Most importantly, Lan SiZhui, Lan Yuan, his A-Yuan, on his knee in front of him, hand outstretched, slightly nervous but gentle smile on his face. Steady voice a total contrast of his racing heart. 

“Sect Leader Jin Rulan of Lanling. Will you grant me the honour of spending eternity with me, as my cultivation partner and soul mate? Will you marry me?” 

Jin Ling, overwhelmed, stepped toward his boyfriend, fiancé, and fell to his knees before him. He threw his arms around strong shoulders, wailing, “Yes, yes, yes, to the heavens and back yes!” 

Cheers erupted all around them, was that Uncle Cheng crying too, but it was merely white noise. In each other’s arms, unspoken promises of forever binding them, nothing could ruin this beauty. Between them he heard SiZhui whisper “Happy birthday, my love.” 

At that he gave a teary laugh. “I can’t believe I forgot my own birthday.” 

And a happy birthday it certainly was. 

**Author's Note:**

> not first time writing but first time posting to this platform.  
> constructive criticism accepted  
> hope you enjoyed.


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